If it's poetry, it's best to assume it's garbage

Most poetry is garbage. Utter garbage. People who have nothing interesting to say become poets. In fact, so much poetry is garbage that some highly intelligent people assume a priori that (1) all poetry is garbage until demonstrated otherwise and (2) trying to find decent poetry would result in too much wasted time and energy. [In the interest of full disclosure, the “some highly intelligent people” is a reference to me.] Therefore, I will not read poetry unless I recognize it as being from a reputable source [Whitman, S-Peare, Lovelace, Kipling, a few others].

Pretty bold statement from one as ignorant as I. Ha!! I have proof. First, compare a few lines from Lovelace, written when he was in prison:

Stone walls do not a prison make,
Nor iron bars a cage;
Minds innocent and quiet take
That for an hermitage;
If I have freedom in my love
And in my soul am free,
Angels alone, that soar above,
Enjoy such liberty.

Now, compare that to a modern, highly acclaimed poet, who is apparently so talented, that this poet was chosen to compose a work for President Clintoon’s inauguration in 1993. I have a small sample of this work below, and I repeat, this was read at the inauguration of the President of the United States [warning, not for the weak of heart]:

A Rock, A River, A Tree
Hosts to species long since departed,
Marked the mastodon.

The dinosaur, who left dry tokens
Of their sojourn here
On our planet floor,
Any broad alarm of their hastening doom
Is lost in the gloom of dust and ages.

But today, the Rock cries out to us, clearly, forcefully,
Come, you may stand upon my
Back and face your distant destiny,
But seek no haven in my shadow.


[STOP! I can't stand it any more. poem continues…read on your own.]
Q.E.D.

Top Ten Reasons Why My Daughter Rocks

This just came off the top of my head, stream of conscience; so I am probably missing a few points:

10. She is cool, and when I am around her, some of that coolness rubs off on me
9. She helps around the house and helps take care of her younger siblings
8. She enjoys receiving gifts and material things, but does not expect them
7. She is a pretty good shot with my Glock
6. She has a great sense of humor, with well placed, biting commentary that cracks me up
5. Her friends are an interesting group and make for pleasant company
4. She has good taste in music, literature, and other entertainment
3. She rarely does anything normally associated with immature teens
2. She does not think teen idols are hot; in fact, she generally does not know or care who they are

Finally…

1. She loves me, and thinks that I am great, even though I really am a dufus; and she thinks my corny jokes are funny

Ballet Dancers Who Are Not Wimpy Looking

Yes, such a thing does exist. Last month I had the pleasure of seeing for the second time, the first being a few years ago, a dance group from Canada called “Troupe Les Grands Ballet Canadiens de Montréal”, or in the Queen’s language, “Grand Ballet of Montreal.”

GBM [I just made that up, catchy, no?] is a B-Level ballet group from Waco, Texas. Just kidding; they are from Montreal. They tend to specialize in modern ballet, which is much more structured than modern dance garbage, but will push envelopes beyond traditional ballet.

I am a big fan of GBM. Critics tend to give them mixed reviews, some good, and some bad, with the bad focusing on the lack of technical talent displayed by some of the dancers. Nonsense. GBM dancers are very athletic and inspiring to watch. First of all, the female dancers are not as small and not as skinny as a typical A-Level female ballet dancer. The GBM females look like very fit, college athletes. Fit looking females is a good thing--kind of like that hot, young babe who agreed to marry me years ago, who still looks great every day just by waking up, and never looks better than when she finishes a 15 mile run….now, where was I?

Oh Yes... The male dancers are more athletic than your typical ballet principal dude. In fact, I think I could have used some of them on my rugby teams from my younger days.

Frankly, I can’t tell whether they are exactly perfect in their technical application of ballet, but I can tell when the dancing is physically difficult, and no one does physical dancing better than GBM. If you do come across a negative review, check to see what the critic looks like. If the critic is some balding elitist, about 50 lbs overweight, who gets tired while doing the laundry, then I would not be surprised.

Mumbai Terrorist Attack

Brave Police Officers, Really….

I will let you decide. Maybe LAPD SWAT could use this as a training video and take notes.

Here is a video of Indian Police response to the Mumbai [f/k/a Bombay] attack last week:

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=070_1228402221


In the mean time, while you are watching, I will provide play-by-play commentary:

Time 0:00 - What we have are still shots, about a second apart, taken from the view of a large hallway that seems to open up into a large, open space [probably the central building] of a rail terminal, or something. There are lots of people lingering, and the crowd appears concerned, but not frightened. Notice at the top corner of the hallway, we see a small group, about 6 or 7, police officers talking.

Time 0:25 – The group of officers increased to about 10. We can confirm that a few have rifles. They are in a tight group, probably receiving information from a supervisor [or maybe they are reading a magazine, whatever]. Notice that most of the pedestrian traffic in the open area is moving from right to left. This indicates that there is a passageway to the right, entering into the center area from the top of our screen.

Time 0:40 – Some of the officers left quickly, away from the center area, down the hallway to the bottom of the screen. Others seem to walk back and forth. The crowd seems much more nervous.

Time 0:50 – Several officers, maybe 4 or 5 or more, have rifles.

Time 1:05 – Most of the crowd has cleared out. There are about 7 or 8 officers, most with rifles.

Time 1:15 – A few more officers with rifles show up.

Time 1:25 – Several officers, including several with rifles, leave the area.

Time 1:33 – Almost all the officers leave the area. A few are at the top of the hallway, looking towards the right.

Time 1:50 – More waking back and forth by officers. Note that the most curious person is a photographer. We will see him taking pictures soon.

Time 1:55 – Person in white shirt is very excited about something he sees. He yells something down the hall and with his arm signals to some people below our screen [my guess is to a bunch of officers with rifles] that they should come see around the corner.

Time 2:01 – That is one brave photographer. Maybe someone should have handed him a rifle.

Time 2:03 – See the officer run away! LOL!!

Time 2:30 – More people clear the area. Something scary is just around the corner!

Time 2:36 – Yes! We are saved. A brave officer, with rifle, appears.

Time 2:39 – Everyone runs away, except for our very own Bruce Willis.

Time 2:47 – See the random Indian person calmly walking by, as if nothing important is happening. Bizarre.

Time 2:57 – Bruce Willis has back-up. I hope the bad guys are ready for some action. What happened to all the other officers with rifles? Oh well. Who needs them anyway when we have Bruce Willis.

Time 3:04 – Top of the screen, in the middle of the large central area, a Mumbai terrorist.

Time 3:08 – Now we see both terrorists, standing in the open. Easy targets for our brave officer. Of course, the officers are hidden, but surely that is just temporary.

Time 3:25 – Officers are doing a very good job of hiding. I wonder what their plan is?

Time 3:33 – Mumbai terrorist in plain view at top of screen. Easy target.

Time 3:49 – Mumbai terrorist exists top stage right [our left]. Strange, I see no pursuit by our officers. What happened to the other 10-15 officers? Where are all those rifles?

End - Show ends with our officers remaining hidden.

Skinny Ballet Guys: Mix in a bench press

Bucking the trend indicated by my first post, my fist real comment will be, in fact, about ballet and barbells.

Thanks to the influence of my wonderful wife, I have been a big fan of ballet for a long time. We have season tickets to the Houston Ballet—and I really enjoy it. I can understand why most average guys like me would rather have a molar removed than go to a ballet because I used to be that guy. However, years ago my sense of chivalry and physical attraction to this certain hot babe I was dating led me to a performance of the Houston Ballet.

Ballet dancers are great athletes. They look perfect and dance beautifully, except for one thing which bothers me: some of the guys could benefit from a basic upper body workout. The primary object of ballet is visual perfection, and certainly an athletic looking body celebrates the capacity of human achievement. The guys all have great lower body development, obviously; but about half of the guys are too thin across the chest, shoulders and back. Just a basic, three times a week, 45 minute workout with free weights, concentrating on the upper body would do wonders. Why the ballet community as a whole has not caught on to the idea, I can’t say.

First Post

Well, I do not intend to write much about either ballet or barbells, so if you are looking for information on the latest dance supply catalog or where to pick up a set of 50 lbs on the cheap, this is the wrong place.